Latinoamerica

I have a few pending posts to write about Sweden, England, Mexico, Mallorca… but will leave them for now to focus in South America where I am currently travelling.

And I will start by translating something I wrote in Spanish for a contest to win a trip do SA (original with pics). I missed the price just for a few votes (got 112 and the winner over 1000). My presentation was clearly the best but most voters are stupid and I didn’t have the media support, you know how the so called “democracy” works. Well, I am in SA anyway. So here the crap I wrote:

It seems that there are more people in this contest than in the job center line in Spain, but, if Rajoy won an election and Arbeloa a World Cup, I stand a chance. It is about time that South Americans can enjoy my awesomeness as others did in many places. I do not like to brag, but I was in more than 60 countries and can play the triangle. Among my experiences: living with remote tribes in Mentawai and Sulawesi (Indonesia), drinking vodka for breakfast with Kyrgyz nomads, cycling in the Karakoram highway, Nordkapp, eating tortilla in Betanzos, 3 weeks trekking in the mountains of Nepal, hitchhiking the Pamir Highway, remote Burma, Laos, Iran, Oman, Tajikistan and more … I have a blog  year compiling stories from one year in Asia, which used to have about 100 readers per day (10 from friends and 90 from bots I created to feel appreciated). This is the most liked post on FB.

Not yet sure you will vote for me? Here you have the list of things I want to achieve there:

  • Party at Rio Carnival and get as many STDs as I can
  • Visit Machu Pichu and Uyuni without taking a single picture
  • Strengthen the commercial exchanges between Colombia and my native Galicia
  • Open a phone call center in Ecuador
  • Ride the Panamericana on a bicycle and the Austral Road on a donkey
  • Climbing Aconcagua
  • Buy toilette paper in Venezuela
  • Many volunteering projects, permaculture, sustainability, wwoofing and all that shit
  • Live along Guyana tribes
  • Steal an Argentinian guy’s girlfriend
  • Wear Evo’s jumper
  • Find Paulo Coelho. Kill him. “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
  • Record the “cerveza” tune with Wendy Sulca
  • Spit on llamas
  • Film an Argentinian movie without Ricardo Darin
  • Go for a ride on Mujica’s Beatle
  • Hitchhike to Antartica
  • Invite Kevin Roldan to my bday party
  • Kill hippies in El Bolson
  • Spend most of the prize money on booze, drugs and… squander the rest

Top 15 Best Beaches

This is the list of the best beaches/beach destinations I have been to. They are mainly ranked according to the beaches themselves, but I took into consideration the attractions around as well. Although I could fill this list almost entirely with SE Asia ones I gave extra weight to others for more diversity. If you have any suggestion fire up in comments.

1. Togean Islands – Sulawesi – Indonesia

Why? Perfect tropical paradise, that’s it. More

Cons: Difficult to get there, don’t go, go to Bali instead🙂

P1020603
Beach – Blue Star – Sunset – Bajau Houses

2. Railay – Krabi – Thailand

Why? Astonishing karst formations. Consist of 4 beaches: Pranang (probably most beautiful beach I’ve ever seen), West Railay (sunsets and bonfires), East Railay, and Ton Sai (caters to backpackers and climbers). Monkeys. Don’t miss the lagoon! More

Cons: As many places in Thailand, tourists, ranging from fake hippies to posh-luxury

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Pranang

3. Reynisfjara (Black Beach)  – Vik – Iceland

Why? Epic Icelandic landscape, black sand, formations like the ones at the Giant Causeway, amazing rocks in the sea. Next to Vik village with its picturesque church. The pretty Dyrholaey arch is nearby and not far plenty of awesome waterfalls, glaciers, volcanoes…

Cons: Wheater, cold water (I tried it at Vik). I was lucky and got a very warm sunny day for Icelandic standards (+18)

Not my pics. I've lost mine :(
Not my pics. I’ve lost mine😦

4. Tiny Island – Mentawai – Indonesia

Why? Remote inhabited island, palm trees, clear water, white sand, fish. More

Cons: Mosquitoes on steroids, malaria zone. Dont’t know the name of the island, Masalot???

Sunset - Beach - More Beach - Me
Sunrise – Beach – More Beach – Me

5. Glyka Nera (Sweet Water) – Crete – Greece

Why? Secluded and quiet. Fresh water springs next to the sea. Good for camping or sleeping rough. Nudist. Goats!

Cons: Some pebbles. We got there at night and when we went back at day time didn’t look good at all for someone scared of heights like me, that was before Asia where I walked many much worse ones.

View - Goat - Path - Beach
View – Goat – Path – Beach

6. Tulum – Quintana Roo – Mexico

Why? Mayan ruins by a pretty tropical beach. Iguanas around. Nearby cenotes to visit. Tequila and mezcal. I had to add one from America🙂

Cons: Guess it… Gringos

Not my pic, again mine are lost
Not my pic, again mine are lost

7. Praia das Catedrais (Cathedrals Beach) – Galicia

Why? I was born about 40 km from this beauty! Amazing rock formations.

Cons: Rain. People from Madrid visiting during summer time.

Awesomeness
Awesomeness
not my pic
not my pic

8. Koh Rong Island – Cambodia

Why? Crystal clear water. Sand so white that was hurting my eyes. Cheap beer. More

Cons: Development plans for the island threaten the calm vibe.

this guy doesn't give a fuck
this guy doesn’t give a fuck

9.  Weekuri – Sumba – Indonesia

Why? The beach is nice, but the amazing nearby lagoon is the main reason I am including this one, which may not be fair. More

Cons: Try to find the lagoon by yourself… no info anywhere, better go back to Bali🙂

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Lagoon

10. Random Beach – NordKapp – Norway

Why? I found by chance this pretty small arctic beach near the Nordkapp road toll. Spectacular fjord landscape. Midnight sun (or midnight rain).

Cons: Supercold water, I went for a short swim and my penis looked like regular size. End of June and there was still snow on the beach.

End of June!
End of June!

11.  Haad Khom – Koh Phangan – Thailand

Why? Another pretty tropical beach, a quite on in the party island. Resident pig. People say that nearby bottle beach is better. More

Cons: Jews, sorry I didn’t mean to be racist, let’s say the presence of Hebrew tourists that live in Palestine

IMAG0215
Oink Oink
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Another Lame Tropical Beach

12. Akrotiri (Red Beach) – Santorini – Greece

Why? Red sand, red cliffs

Cons: The most touristy on this list, many from Britain or Merkelland

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Red, I don’t lie

13. Koufunisia – Greece

Why? Koufuinisia is a small island with plenty of nice beaches and pretty spots like the hole in the pic, located next to a pretty nudist beach

Cons: Very few tourists when I was there, but I am afraid that’s not the case anymore.

IMG_1997
Something – Sex Symbol – Mikel Climbing – Hole

14. Seven Sisters – England

Why? White cliffs

Cons: Pebbles and not many thrills apart from the cliffs. Londoners.

not my pic, didn't care enough to take one
not my pic, didn’t care enough to take one

15. Komodo – Indonesia

Why? Big lizards. Komodo village nearby. Good snorkelling. More

Cons: Sorry for repeating myself, tourists

Recruiter
Recruiter

Wild Strawberries

Time was passing and I was getting comfortable with my life in the farm. I named one of the sheep “Relation” so I could say things like “I have a relationsheep” or “yesterday I was in a relationsheep”.

absolut

According to locals it was the best summer in many years, even too warm to sleep sometimes. Quite often I was playing basketball, beach volley (yes in Sweden!) or going for runs in a national park.

I  kept cycling on the weekends and discovering beautiful spots in Skäne, like the Österlen area. On one of the rides, I found the new Vikings Valhalla, the Absolut factory.

Some friends come to visit and I went a few times more to Copenhagen and there were a couple of festivals in Malmö with some free gigs, like the lovely girls below.

Fact: For Scandinavian film lovers like me, the concluding scenes in Ingmar Bergman’s masterpiece Wild Strawberries were set and shot in, Lund.

 

 

Vikings

Wow, I am one and a half year behind with my writing  (talking about Abba’s land from Chile), I am becoming the master of procrastination. You may have noticed the site blog appearance has changed to make it responsive, still waiting to find a reliable web developer that can turn it into a proper site. I did since I got some analytics indicating that 65% of the blog readers are connecting from a mobile device, 39% of which read this blog while taking a dump and 0.8% while having sexual intercourse (0.2 % with me).

Everything was going smooth in peaceful Scandinavia as summer was starting. Genetically blessed locals turned to be friendly and welcoming, difficult to believe they are the descendants of ruthless Ragnar Lodbrok friends.

Swedish mating dance
Swedish mating dance at a summer solstice celebration

I kept cycling quite a lot and on another bike trip, I visited the amazing Nimis, at the micronation of Ladonia in the Kullaberg peninsula, where I spotted the rare Swedish zebra.

The scandinavian zebra in his habitat, not giving a fuck
The Scandinavian zebra in his habitat, not giving a fuck

I liked so much the place that, after a strenuous bureaucratic process that consisted of an online application form where I have to enter my name, I became a proud Ladonian citizen.

Nimis. Ladonia is best, your country sucks
Ladonia is best, your country sucks

More pics

 

 

Dancer in the Light

After so many requests from all my fans (between one and zero), I am writing a bit more here. OK, the truth, I run out of tv series to watch and I am bored to death.

Where did I leave this…? Oh I was in Sweden, yes… Because sometimes I need to take a break from holidays and work. Days were passing and I was very smoothly settling in Odin’s land. With the spring arrival, Skane fields countryside turned into the pretty yellow color of the rapeseed flowers, such a beautiful landscape for a sunset walk or outdoors pooping.

In May, I moved to the place where I would live for the rest stay, a house with farm and eco shop. There were quite a few animals around, chicken, geese, ducks, t-rex, tropical birds and sheep… sweet sheep. Nothing cheers me up more than the sight of my sheep in the morning and, don’t think bad, I don’t look at sheep the same sexual way Welsh men do.

The flat lands and quite roads of Skane make of it a perfect place for cycling. So I started to take advantage of the sunny and unusual warm spring days. I rode to pretty Ystad including a beach and a castle on the way. Even using sunscreen, I managed to get sunburnt in May in Sweden.

Swedish wild life as seen from my window - Party - The road to Ystd - Sweet home
Swedish wildlife as seen from my window – Party – The road to Ystad – Sweet home

My first visitor came in June and I went to Copenhagen for the Distortion festival. The land of reasonably priced beer. The music was not my favourite but have to say the atmosphere was great. Very friendly and laid back people, great weather, long days. There were party buses, party boats, street parties and so on. I didn’t have very high expectations about Copenhagen and left with a great impression. Kind of Berlin meets Scandinavia. A pretty green city where the artisty vibe gets along very well with clean, efficient and calm Scandinavia.

larsThe most amazing thing happened when after leaving Christiania I bumped into Lars von Trier. I couldn’t resist from grabbing him to ask about his opinion on the references to Soren Kierkegaard Christian existentialism in Carl Theodor Dreyer masterpiece “Ordet”. I will always remember he replied to me: “Dude, I am not Lars von Trier, leave me alone!”.

Pippi Långstrump

5 months I spent in old Europe before I had a semistable destination. One thing that stroke me is how hipsters and runners reproduced all around during the year I was out. I don’t know how these pests spread, but I feel I have been a bit infected from both.

A new period in my life started with a flight to Copenhagen, my bicycle, and a backpack. After landing, I crossed The Bridge that gives the name to the tv serie and connects Scandinavia with Europe. I don’t consider Europe any of those countries where alcohol is not sold in regular shops or supermarkets, will get back to this later.

The arrival in Lund was smooth thanks to an amazing Couchsurfer who showed me around and let me use his house as long as I needed. In a few days, thanks to CS again, I managed to get a room in a students’ corridor where I would live for about a month. Good place, good people.

The first connection I remember with Sweden as a child was reading Astrid Lindgren books. I think I had a crush on that freckled, red-haired anarchist Pippi Longstocking. The second one was sex-symbol Alfredo Landa chasing Swedish ladies.

Pippi!
way to go

After registering as a new attraction at the tourist office, on my first days, I could get a glimpse of the place and what to expect from it:

Positive thinking. Lund center looks like out of a fairytale, with cobblestone streets, pretty colorful houses (Villekula style) and a medieval thing. It’s very green, with plenty of parks and sports facilities, quiet, clean and peaceful. It’s a cycling heaven, amazing bike only roads are everywhere and almost half of commute is done by this mean, beating Amsterdam. There are 2 Lidls. High living standards. Half of the population are students and people are friendly. Somehow feels the opposite to London.

library - wool tree - danger locals - house
library – wool tree – danger locals – house

Negative thinking. It’s cold and gray. People don’t talk and the streets are way too quiet. Just a bunch of bars. Too many rules and not much to do. Boring. I didn’t learn from the past, is it gonna be like Hellsinki? Noooo!

Which impression would win, you will see in next posts. More pics

On my first Saturday, I made a trip to the pretty Systembolaget. What’s that? A pilgrimage place for most Swedes. The government-owned alcohol shop. Great range, but expensive and opening times suck. They have something at supermarkets they like to call beer but trust me, it is not. Quite often, Swedes travel to Denmark to buy cheaper booze, even some take ferries to Germany. I remember a conversation with my CS host about these interesting “European cheap booze trips”. We can draw some lines, e.g.: Norway-Sweden-Denmark-Germany-Poland-Slovakia, Finland-Estonia-Latvia, Switzerland-anywhere… They have a key role in European integration, like the Erasmus program, Ryanair and hating Germans.

Los Lunes al Sol (Mondays in the Sun)

With only a year delay, I am back here. Not that I had much to write about, but it looks like finally I managed to overcome my laziness. This post covers from Nov 2013 till March 2014 approx. Once back home I spent almost 3 months with the best hosts, my parents and enjoying friends. It was not a productive time and I became the procrastination king. It was not easy to deal with the reverse culture shock. As I failed to find an alternative to paid work or do something I like, probably due to lack of courage and will, it was time to take a break from traveling and look for a job. No more full-time awesomeness for a while😦

I spent some time between Brussels and London crossing the Eurotunnel a few times. Last time I was in Belgium was 10 years before, doing interrail. This time I discovered other parts of the city like a good area for window shopping, similar to the one in Amsterdam, but rougher and not touristy at all. I shortly visited pretty Gent and Lille as well. Brussels is not a bad place and I had a good time thanks to my friends and the best beer in the world. I confirmed something I always suspected, I could be happy with a housewife lifestyle.

As much as I hate London this time it was not that bad at all as I stayed with friends and most of the time in Brixton, probably the best part of the city. My life was kind of house cat like, and I was good at it, especially at taking naps, on a good day I could take up to 5 or 6. Don’t know how the karma thing works but I feel I am in debt with a lot of people.

I was receiving plenty of calls from “lovely” bullshitting recruiters, but few interviews. Remember, all recruiters are bastards. I don’t know why but I felt many people were questioning my professionalism after one year traveling. Some were implying that work was not my main priority in life and I was doing it just to get money for my hobbies, crazy idea. After 3 months not being offered a single job, I got like 4 in 2 weeks. Jobs are like chicks, only they don’t have boobs. End of story, I went for a 5 months contract to Sweden, so expect next posts to be about Abba, IKEA, blondies…

I realized nowadays everything on the internet is about stupid listings so I may write some and see if I get some fb likes. One about top beaches coming soon and thinking about others like best cities, worst toilettes, cheapest brothels.

The only pic I have for this period is from the Eurotunnel from the inside at night and without lights. Enjoy the view of such a marvelous engineering work.

eurotunnel