Camels

The way to Jaisalmer is long but definitely worth it. Probably the most beautiful town I saw so far in this trip.

At some point I wanted to experience the real Indian culture and went for a Bollywood movie. Ok, the truth. I was tired of walking and sat on the cinema doorsteps for a break. Then a hot chick came and asked me – are you coming to the movie? – mmm… ehhh… mmm… sure!. The movie plot was easy to follow despite of being in Hindi without subtitles: a lame love story with plenty of cliches and dancing / singing. The best was to see the locals behavior becoming crazy for example when they kiss. I am not gonna recommend that movie but another Indian one with a completely different style, Salaam Bombay from Mira Nair.

The day after I went to the dessert to ride Sonia Gandhi  She was 8 years old, very quiet and strong, and what I like the most, she was able to walk and poo at the same time pretending than nothing is happening. It was though and left me with sore legs and bum. She was cheap but the experience a bit disappointing. The dessert was rather boring. They told us we would go to a non touristy part with lots of dunes. There were very few small dunes where we slept and wind turbines everywhere. It was so non-touristy that when we set the bonfire a boy form the next village came and try to sell us beer. Well, at least I’ve got a real camel and a silent night under the stairs. Being India I wouldn’t be surprised getting two dudes dressed as a camel or tuk-tuks in the dunes.

Moustaches

The time for Rajasthan has come and the first stop was nice Jaipur with the wonderful Amber Fort.

Pushkar is a pretty small blue city around a sacred lake. A big festival – camel fair was happening with lots of people and events. I scored a tent in a hotel rooftop at 100 rupees per night and the best, the place had a swimming pool. First night I met my “roommate”, a big white monkey with black face. I thought bringing food wouldn’t be a good idea then as he seemed the kind of friend that crashes at your place forever, drinks all your beer without asking and leaves without offering to help with the rent. Actually during the nights I was a bit scared like Chris Griffin with the evil monkey.

True there a lot of things worth seeing in India but there is only one that made me to come here: Pushkar moustache contest. Days were passing and, while waiting for the big moment I was enjoying the many events in the program: camel dance, turban tying contest, rural sports, popular music, spiritual walk (this one was amazing, will upload some pics)…

Finally there was time for the EVENT. Barely couldn’t get any sleep the night before. I was so excited about,I put on my best clothes for the occasion (well, the clean ones) and have to say it was up to my expectations. . Such beautiful moustaches! A few guys have event to roll it and tie it to their heads. The time the unrolled it was magic. The winner had a moustache that goes a long way beyond his feet. He didn’t shave for 27 years! I have no words, he is my hero. That’s a life with a purpose. Meanwhile most of us waste our lives doing meaningless stuff: studying, working, traveling, family… That guy clearly does not give a fuck about such things. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wS5xOZ7Rq8

Ancient Sex

Don’t worry, I am not gonna post grannies doing naughty stuff. There is plenty of that on the internet and you know where to find it.

Kahjuraho temples are mainly famous for their sculptures depicting sensual ladies, kamasutra positions, tantric sex, 9 people orgies, animalism and much more…

Nowadays life is very easy with the internet providing lots of porn but think about 1000 years ago, there were not even magazines so they had to spend lots of time working on the stones to inspire people. Hard work no doubt.

The horse, best friend of man
The horse, best friend of man

Love

When one of his wives passed out, some important dude decided to build a mausoleum in her memory. That’s the story behind the Taj Mahal.

Some people claim that was the most romantic gesture ever. I say bullshit, just a rich guy whim. Ordinary people do much greater things for love but they don’t get the acknowledgment.

This is for me the most romantic present ever http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg

Ok, the palace is very beautiful but overrated/overpriced in my opinion and didn’t like Agra at all.

24hr burning people

India started with a 10 hour bus drive from the border. The way was interesting as the fest;val was still going on. Everywhere they were carrying images of Hindi gods in tractors and behind them jeeps or trucks with huge speakers playing the Indian dance greatest hits and people dancing as crazy. It looked like a rave but without booze or drugs.

Finally we arrived to the sacred city of Varanasi, full power India and touts world capital. Travellers love or hate it in equal proportion. I liked it a lot but wouldn’t stay there for a long time.

Our guest house there was overlooking the main burning ghat, where lots of corpses are cremated day and night. Yeah, I like the smell of burning flesh in the morning.

They bring the corpses there corpses there in kind of processions through the narrow streets and they burn them with wood throwing the ashes into the Ganges. Pics not allowed.

Cremation is the usual thing in Hinduism but why so much fuzz with doing it in Varanasi? Well, they believe in reincarnation and a lot of people go to die to Varanasi because if you do so apparently you get to be a porn actor in your next life.

The ghats of Varanasi are full of people, lots of shadus and touts among them. As well plenty of cows, dogs, goats… Ashes from corpses cremated in other locations are brought to the Varanasi as well. The corpses of shadus, babies and people killed by holly animals such as cobras or cows are thrown straight to the holly river without being cremated.

Rubbish, mud, flowers, lighted candles, animal depositions and anything else you can imagine go straight to the quiet river waters. And then you see the lots of people (and some cows) swimming there WTF???

The views, smells, people and performances happening in Varanasi made for an experience my senses will never forget.

Fact: the concentration of fecal bacteria in the Ganges along Varanasi is 3000 times over the safety limit. Only?

Nepal

So finally it’s time to leave Nepal. I had an amazing time so feel a bit sad. It’s a great place for doing adventure sports with good prices, gorgeous mountain views’ good food and friendly people.

Apart from the party at the lake and a very few occasional beers and raksis my liver had a well-deserved holiday. Enjoy bitch, busy times coming soon in Thailand.

Elephants

Chitwan national park was a bit disappointing as I spotted zero rhinos which are supposed to be the main stars there after the elusive tigers. Going around looking for rhinos reminded me of this funny Monty Python sketch.

True that I spotted a lot of other animals: crocs, monkeys, boars, deers, birds… even an eagle catching a snake … and many, many tourists.

The most enjoyable was the elephant bathing and riding (got one just for myself). What about elephant shagging then? Sorry I don’t go for fatties with unless I have at least 7 pints and I have less than 5 min for the last bar closing hour.

One of the nights there it happened to be my birthday, luckily there was a festival there and the lodge owner birthday as well so I got candles and some entertainment.

Trunk
Trunk contest. Epic win