Kill Pig (Laolao San Martinho)

So many years looking for excuses to avoid getting involved in the pigs slaughter at my grandma’s and now I had to take part on it in Lao.

It all started with a trekking to an Akha village. The place was very authentic and basic, no electricity or cold beer… People living basically on what thy grow and raise. So far, from the ethnic groups I saw Akha women are winning in the custom contest big time (worth googling it).

They were having a wedding party and for the occasion they were slaughtering a pig. They asked us to join them, witness the whole thing and help chopping the fat. Nice!, well I wanted to see the real Lao so first on the face. I went through the matter quite well using the best of my team work skill, such as doing things but on purpose so others will pity me and end up doing my work.

Everyone there were drinking lots of laolao (home made rice whisky). Bamboo bongs were smoked. No one could speak English and didn’t understand the conversations but at some point I guess something like this should have been spoken:

–         Hey dude, you know what would be cool?

–         What?

–         Killing another pig!

–         Yes mate! Let’s fucking do it

–         You know, we could rape him before…

–         WTF man? You are sick. What’s wrong with you? No way!

–         OK… we will just stab that motherfucker… hello piggy!

So when drunk they actually killed another swine. After that we had dinner for the third time. The star dishes came to the table, boiled pig fat and the best, the blood; no track of the meat. I tried a bit just to be polite.

The laolao helped a lot with the language barrier and I learnt more Lao that night than Thai in one month, including the national motto: Baw pen nyang – no problem.

Next morning we had breakfast with laolao, of course. Baw pen nyang. Later we visited a house were they produce the evil laolao, more drinking at buying. At one euro per litter, I am gonna like this country..

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